BLOG: 47. In a row??
Good morning people. 47 years ago today, this was me:
Mom would probably hate that I put those pictures up. I can hear her now: “Oh why did you post that?? I look horrible in those!” No you didn’t mom. You always were radiant. Especially when you and dad brought me into this world. I’m forever grateful for that. My silly little life.
As of today, I’m now officially 47. One of those in between birthdays that needs no accolades. Its one of those “Eh, so what its your birthday. Just get up and go to work yeh idjit!” But I couldn’t allow myself to have to work on my birthday. That would have been extra sad.
Instead I started out with STAR TREK. Natch. Of course, Paramount Plus is actually releasing a new Trek movie today, my birthday. How weird is that? However, its a movie I have zero interest in seeing. NuTrek just isn’t for me. And after the reviews I am reading, I just won’t bother. Instead, I ordered myself some Taco Bell and watched my favorite STAR TREK movie in 4K:
Yes, THE MOTION PICTURE is my favorite. Its the most “STAR TREK” of all the movies. It takes big swings. Its an absolute visual and auditory spectacle. It came out in December 1979, I was a one year old. Almost two. I’d see it and Wrath of Khan both on Betamax about four years later and it would change my life. It made me a nerd. I fell in love with the Enterprise. That’s really what started it. People say its slow and boring. I think the exact opposite. Even though I’ve seen it probably over 100 times, I smile at everything. Last night I watched it and I’m laughing at Dr. McCoy. Smiling at seeing them all again and how young they look. I’m wondering what it would have been like to have been a child of the late 60s early 70s, growing up with the re-runs and cartoon, hearing rumblings of a new movie or TV show and then seeing this spectacle on the big screen. Cause I know how I felt when I first saw it. Even at six years old, I wasn’t bored at all. It remains my favorite movie score of all time.
So I scored this additonal present for myself for my bday:
I got it from the CultTVMan website on discount cause the box is dented. But I don’t care about that. Cause I’m gonna open this up and construct the hell out of it. I’m gonna learn airbrushing and LED lighting to light this bitch. Several videos on youtube show how. I am gonna do it. Make it so. Let’s hope I don’t muck it up and I’ll want to vaporize it like V’Ger did in the movie.
I got no major plans today. I’m meeting an old friend for afternoon lunch and then after that, I am on my own I suppose. It does kind of suck being single and alone on your birthday. But I have lots of friends and family helping to fill the void. Already my middle son is texting me about today. He loves calendars and time. Part of his autism I guess. Its unreal. I’ll say “whens the last time we went to so and so?” “March 18th dad.” How does he remember that? I don’t even remember last Tuesday! What a nice gift.
I could hit the strip club, but those girls there…I’m old enough to be their dad! Gross. I might just stay home and draw alone, listening to music. I could jam on some guitar or read a book. I could start on the model kit. Shit… the whole day is mine! While stuck at work, you dream of a day off. Now I got one, on one of the days of the year where I am absolutely allowed to be as self indulgent as I want to be. Its on me to make the day great. But really, I’m just thankful to be here at all. I’ve survived a lot. I’ve lived a lot. I’m ready for more of it.
All throughout the day I will likely have facebook messages from people who have been on this ride with me throughout various stages of my life. Its always great to be remembered.
I got some nice events coming this year. Just learned that a local museum is going to have a huge Ray Harryhousen movie prop/art exhibit. I mean, to see the puppets from Jason and the Argonauts and Clash of the Titans? Whew!! I’m excited! Expect pictures here on the blog when I go!
I’m signed up for Cap City Comic Con in July. I will go to Motor City Con with friends. I’m planning a Chicago vacation in the summer. Gonna hit the art and science museums. Go to the aquarium. Maybe take in a Cubs game. I dunno. Then I am planning a writing retreat to just go finish off one of the five novels I have started. Just do whatever I feel like. Just because I can. Cause life is for the living. Gotta do what I can, while I can.
I was listening to a podcast this week about feeling lost or having no sense of purpose. Sometimes I can relate to that. The gal being interviewed said, “Purpose is that which brings you the most satisfaction and joy as a being and allows you to contribute the most satisfaction and joy to the rest of the world.” So I am learning to do just that. Focusing on that. Not that I am alone or that this or that didn’t work out like I had hoped. This or that dream didn’t come true. My purpose is to feel the joy of living. Only a handful of times have I sat back and allowed myself to feel that. Like watching one of my kids being born. Or holding my new printed comic book I made in my hands for the first time. Or sitting at a table during a calm sunny day in New Orleans, watching a jazz band play live. Or seeing a movie prop from a flick I’ve seen a thousand times and reflect on what it means to me. Seeing a message from an old friend I have lost touch with. Its like that scene in the movie “SOUL.” (and if you haven’t seen that, I recommend that movie highly. Its my favorite Pixar movie and man did it tear me up.)
All of that is purpose. I’m learning how to switch gears and allow joy to come in. To calm the darkness and nay saying in my soul. And right now, with events in the world, with as much heartache I carry with me, that is tremendously difficult. But we must learn how to always step out of suffering. Whatever form that is going to take for you to achieve it. I hope you do. Cause life is for the living.
Thanks for reading my friends! New Pleasant Life comic next week Monday!
Much love, T
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